I attend a church in which the pastor recommends that our process of growing closer to God can benefit from times of solitude, and he tells about a hideaway in the desert , which some nice parishoners lend him.

Okay. I'm pleased he's gets to do that.

But imagine a single mom or dad with no nice friends offering a desert retreat. What's this person to do if his or her mind or emotions or art could use a healthy jolt of solitude?

I've been pondering this thorny question for a few days and here are some thoughts on the matter.

At least part of the refreshment we get from solitude comes from silence. And those of us who are verbal creatures are going to talk to somebody, to spill our frustrations, or wrestle with ideas, or seek answers, or put words to our excitement or wonder. If we've chosen solitude, we'll talk to somebody, maybe to God or maybe to ourselves, maybe to our pet iguana. And talks like these can be the most honest, outrageous, and creative.

If they get too crazy, we can always chicken out and find some person to talk to.